Do your kids a favor - don't have any. - Robert Orben

Children find everything in nothing; men find nothing in everything. - Giacomo Leopardi, Zibaldone Scelto

Children's talent to endure stems from their ignorance of alternatives. - Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, 1969

Our genes make us immortal. - The Secret of Life, PBS

Women gather together to wear silly hats, eat dainty food, and forget how unresponsive their husbands are. Men gather to talk sports, eat heavy food, and forget how demanding their wives are. Only where children gather is there any real chance of fun. - Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic's Notebook, 1960

Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing up is like shoveling the walk before it stops snowing. - Phyllis Diller

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

Any kid will run any errand for you if you ask at bedtime. - Red Skelton

The only thing worth stealing is a kiss from a sleeping child. - Joe Houldsworth

There's nothing that can help you understand your beliefs more than trying to explain them to an inquisitive child. - Frank A. Clark

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old. - Joan Kerr, Please Don't Eat the Daisies, 1957

Children are contemptuous, haughty, irritable, envious, sneaky, selfish, lazy, flighty, timid, liars and hypocrites, quick to laugh and cry, extreme in expressing joy and sorrow, especially about trifles, they'll do anything to avoid pain but they enjoy inflicting it: little men already. - Jean de La Bruyère, Les Caractères, 1688

There are no seven wonders of the world in the eyes of a child. There are seven million. - Walt Streightiff